I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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