Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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