and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
