I want to make a zoo with you.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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