He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
