it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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