Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize