I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
