I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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