Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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