even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
