Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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