I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
