so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
