Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
