I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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