why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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