Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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