apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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