Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
