Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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