Sponge bath it is.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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