Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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