i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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