i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
