its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My room smells like vodka and shame
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
