can we get nightvision for the apartment?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
