What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
