I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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