So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
