she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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