i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
tell me about the eggs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
