we have officially lost it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
