Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
