i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
