im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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