So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
