I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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