New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
