I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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