Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
