You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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