I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You ate ashes out of my bong
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
