Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
