So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it penis luge time yet?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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