How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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