Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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