Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
