I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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