My first STD was from a foam party
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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