these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
