so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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