Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
