Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
