we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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