you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
