so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize