Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
