i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
