There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize